Caring for an elderly parent who is losing her memory.

Coming home to Mom having worked cutting branches off the tree outside and she had cut her finger, but not badly enough to need stitches. I have her wash it and I put a bandaid on. I thought my son was supposed to come by and cut the branches off but he didn't, instead he comes by and mom noticed a big tatoo on his arm. I hate tatoos and mom got really upset and was crying. He did go outside and work on the tree while I was trying to get mom to just sit down and relax. She then starts vacuuming her room and then then goes outside to the storage area and starts pulling things off the shelf trying to figure out if she need its. But it's already dark outside and still she won't calm down. I finally asked my son to leave and told him it was the only way to get her to calm down. It's hard on everyone in this situation.
That is my life now caring for an elderly parent who is losing her memory. Sometimes I feel angry and resentful and sometimes not, but I can't just move out and leave her here by herself and go live my life. I just don't think I could live with myself and probably would still be over here a lot.  Some days are better than others, today not so good so I'll leave it at that.

Defeated

October frost on my pumkin.

Its starting to get cold, especially at night. I got a job in September. It's different working for someone else instead of directing the whole show. Its perfectly fine with me. I'm glad I took some time off.

I'm sitting here listening to Brigadoom. Its from the series Lexx. It was an offbeat series that was produced in Canada. Strange science fiction. I like weird stuff sometimes.

Its late, I'm tired....goodnight.

Experimenting with digital camera

Me with glasses

Me without glasses

It has been a tough year! Better days a ahead.

I am now in the process of closing a business that I started 3 years ago. My first attempt at business, and probable my last. We did home care for Elderly and Disabled people. When we agreed to do Adult Day Care for the state is when things got crazy. Its cost a lot and took a lot of energy to get licensed for Adult Day Care through the state. We had to move into a bigger building in order to get licensed. In June the State decided it wasn't financially feasible to continue and pulled the funding. I wish the NM Area Agency on Aging had never darkened my doorstep. We were doing okay in our little office, and was starting to get caught up. They (AAA) people were not upfront about much and did little to help us. Had I been more experienced about business when first approached, I would have nailed down exactly what the funding was, and what were the expectations of both AAA and myself. My ego got the best of me. I thought 'I can do this' and so I tried. And I tried so very, very hard. I worked a lot, perhaps too much, and it was stressing me out. I learned a lot about business and myself. I didn't make near the money I use to make before the business, but you can't really expect to make very much when you start a business. In fact if you make enough to put food on the table and a roof over your head, your doing well. So now I'm broke and wiser. Oh well, its time to go get a job.

I want to go sit by the ocean.

I haven't had a vacation in years. I really want to see the ocean again. I haven't been to the ocean in 27 years. I will make it there this year. My son is 16, and he has never seen the ocean. For me the ocean is very calming and wondrous. It's funny though cause I will not swim in it. I just wade out to my knees or sit on the beach looking at it. Or waiting until low tide, and then going to look in the small pools of water left behind.

A Tibute To Neato (2/91-4/05)

Neato

This my dog that I loved very much. I had to have him euthanized in April of this year because he had lung cancer. He was 14 years old and my best freind.
It broke my heart and I still miss him.